Proactive At the Feast

Management and self-help books today often use the term "proactive" in describing a way of thinking and living. Many times the descriptions given are similar to the ones in Stephen Covey's book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. It involves initiative, but even more, it means reactive people allow outside stimuli to govern them. It's not what happens to us, but how we react to it that hurts us most, and can imprison us emotionally if we allow it. Bad things happen to every human being-including all the heroes and heroines of the Bible. But the real "just" or "godly" person is the type described in Proverbs 24:16. The New Living Translation says, "They may trip seven times, but each time they will rise again. But one calamity is enough to lay the wicked low."

What does that have to do with singles? Let's face it. One of the best times of the year to meet other singles from places outside your own church area or region is the Feast of Tabernacles, coming up in less than two months. Each year the Feast Coordinators set aside a couple of days for a Hospitality Room to give singles a place to meet other singles at the site in a "non-threatening environment" where there are others present along with coffee, juice and perhaps other snacks. Yet how many singles let negative experiences-OR negative stories from others-cause them to feel "locked out" of the opportunity to meet new friends?

How many just ignore the printed announcements and perhaps a verbal reminder at services about any singles events planned at their Feast site? How many make a conscious decision "not" to go get involved? Some may want to go, but past hurts-real or imagined-lock them out emotionally. I've heard some of the reasons. "I don't want to go there. It's just a meat market." Others have said things like "I went to a Singles Hospitality 10 years ago and one guy was hitting on me the whole time. I'm not going to let that happen to me again. I just won't go."

Those indicate a "reactive" approach instead of a "proactive" one. All of us need friends. Granted, some can get by with fewer because of their personality type. But we all need friends, and as we draw ever closer to the difficult times near the end of this age, solid friends that we know we can count on will be of more and more value. It should also be quite obvious that we should all do everything we can to not contribute to an atmosphere where others feel "gawked at" or "in a meat market". That means simply being sociable (kind & friendly) but not trying to "monopolize" someone's time. Talk a little with one group, then move on and talk with others. That may be difficult for shy people to do, but it's the socially acceptable way to make new friends.

The U.S. and Canadian Festival Site Activity Announcements booklet was recently sent to each head of household. Many of the sites already have singles events on their calendar. Determine now to use those times, and any other events that are planned at the site, as opportunities to strengthen old friendships and make new ones. If you feel vulnerable as a female, get a friend to go with you and stick by each other. Determine you won't be rude to others, but think about what phrases to use if you or your friend feel the need to get away from any sticky situation.

How about contacting the Feast Coordinator and asking if you could help plan events at the Feast? Many singles have helped make the Feast a memorable occasion for other singles by planning "mixer type" events that are inclusive. If you're one of those outgoing personality types, determine now to use that trait not for selfish purposes, but to help others have a great time at the Feast. That's being proactive in a Christian way by thinking not only of yourself, but also of others.

Ken Treybig